i am from  India. i am 15 yrs old. i face problems in my class.. in my peer group. my friends consider them best. they reflect attitude. they insist that they are the best and know everything. they have a good communication skill. they are the center of attention. everybody asks them but no one asks me. i am a loner. i also want to be the leader and.. center of attention in my class. no body listens to me. i feel sad. i feel bad. help me.

Oh, the joys of teenage relationships!  I feel your pain. I applaud your willingness to reach out and ask for insights, ideas and help. People who are willing to ask for help get a lot further in this world than those who think they have to figure everything out on their own, or that they are supposed to already know what to do.  So, good for you!

As you are experiencing, teenage is a very difficult time of life when everyone is looking to have some control over something or someone, preferably over everyone and everything. It’s a scary time as each person has to learn to make their way in the world with little information or experience on which to base it.

In your writing, you demonstrate two important things: a high level of self-reflection and an understanding of the direction you want to go. Knowing that you want to be a leader tells me that you believe you have something of value to contribute to the life of the world. We all do, some global and some very local.

I’m going to answer your question in a different way than you might expect and I hope it helps:

• Continue with your self-reflection and examine what it is that you wish to bring to a leadership role and why. This is much more important than a popularity contest!
• Know that regardless of how others are behaving, you must be you, living in alignment with your own values, vision, beliefs and purpose, treating others accordingly.
• Stay with that alignment and do not try to curry the favor of your classmates, instead be yourself and shine.  Be pleasant, be loving and be consistent.
• When a person values love, they give it freely by releasing themselves and others from judgment, shame and blame. Be that loving person. It doesn’t really matter who your classmates are being or how they are expressing it. What will always make the greatest difference in your life is who are you being and how are you expressing it.
• Remember that you are not here to live up to the expectations of your classmates. You are here to express your expectations of yourself. At fifteen, you are beginning to differentiate yourself from your peers and that is causing you pain. Painful as that may be, stick to what’s important in life to you and move only in that direction.  For example, if you don’t like the way others treat you, you can treat them in the ways you would like to be treated. It is important not to hope to make people like you if you do not value the same things as those people.  
• Your description of your classmates suggests that they are very self-confident and you see them as having good communication skills. If you think your communication skills are lacking, that is one area you can work on directly. In my opinion, good communication is when you can be totally kind and totally honest at the same time. When I wrote the book Wrestling Rhinos , I did it to give people clear skills for communication, conflict management and negotiation. Everyone needs to learn these skills. I’m sure you can get a good book that will help you immediately. Wrestling Rhinos is available as an ebook. It’s written for adults in the workplace who need to improve their skills but it would be a big help to you.
• Cultivating the mindset of self-confidence is important. In Hindi, you can get a copy of my book, Optimize Your Day, which will help you develop such a mindset.

• BIG IDEA: High school is a place where people are jockeying for position in order to feel better about themselves. Really bright people often have difficulty in high school because what they are thinking about is not the popularity race. They are interested in ideas and creativity and understanding and inspiration. Yes, we all want to have people who love, appreciate, respect and enjoy being with us. That’s natural and I know it is painful when this doesn’t seem to be the case as you wrote.

Shakespeare said it so wisely, “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”  This is so important…and, though especially difficult in high school, it is especially important in high school. Focus on who you are and express that in everything you do. Let the others be who they are. There are many people in life, you will find, who seem to be people whose approval you would like. Often, they turn out to be people who have their own best interests at heart and cannot or will not be able to share life with you mutually or reciprocally. Unfortunate, but true.  Be you and those who can see you will be attracted. Don’t worry about the others.

And, remember, high school will end, but you will go on to shine because you started early to live in alignment with your values, vision, beliefs and purpose! You are a courageous young woman and I hope you’ll write again as you walk in this new light. 

I wish you well.
Rhoberta